Rope's End

by Sharpeslass

Title: Rope’s End
Author: sharpeslass
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: 83 (Hakkai/Sanzo)
Summary: Don’t you think Hakkai’s going to be a little angry with Sanzo for leaving them all to fend for themselves?
A/N This could be seen, by the extremely sensitive as non-con. It is NOT non con and if it looks like it, I’ve written it wrong, but I wanted to throw in the caveat. Thanks: to my beta jedishampoo, who is the best human being on the planet, and to kansouame, who took an early look and gave me some good advice. This pairing is death hard to write for me (they fought me every step of the way – I’m afraid you’ll see that in the stops and starts—but I made them do it and they liked it!!! *evil laugh*) It’s not my OTP, but I promised jedishampoo and I did it and didn’t hate it. (Your turn baby girl... 58 ALL THE WAYYYYYY!!!)


Rope’s End

“What the fuck is your problem, Hakkai?” Sanzo had stopped next to an abandoned barn, figuring this was as good a place as any. It was in ill repair, but he thought it just might do as shelter if the sullen and swelling clouds above them decided to let loose. At this point, he actually wanted them to. The heat and moisture were oppressive in the usually-dry desert. The air was heavy with the taste and scent of damp dust. As much as he hated the rain, this weird weather limbo was somehow worse. The atmosphere unrelated to the weather wasn’t much better

The expected feeling of relief that followed a tough confrontation with lots of bloodshed and actual threat to life and limb hadn’t come for him this time around. It could be the frustration of a job left undone and two very loose threads still hanging; in the end, they’d fled from Ukoku and Hazel had fled from them and now there was at least a little respite.

Both Gojyo and Goku were exuberantly displaying the symptoms of post-battle euphoria. Goku was so happy to have Sanzo back that he was being enthusiastic to an alarming degree, fetching and carrying and offering anything – as if by being “good” he could convince Sanzo to never leave again. As if, in his monkey brain, it had been his fault Sanzo had left in the first place.

Sanzo had expected trouble from Gojyo, but he hadn’t gotten any. The idiot kappa was bantering and teasing like Sanzo had never left, and being, if anything, friendlier to him than he had ever been in the past. In Sanzo’s remote imaginings of this reunion he had expected certain things: raised voices, hurled insults and accusations, possibly monkey tears and very likely some thrown fists. Business as usual, right? And he’d expected Hakkai to let it play out for a bit, then deftly speak up and, with a few words, diffuse it all, so that they could just get on with getting on. But that’s not how it was working out. Not at all.

Instead, every time Goku fawned or Gojyo winked, Sanzo saw Hakkai’s smile get tighter and his knuckles get whiter and it looked like he wasn’t going to be speaking to Sanzo more than was absolutely necessary for a very long time. Which meant that Sanzo was going to have to fight with the one person in the world he didn’t fight with. What’s more, Sanzo had soon realized that it wasn’t just going to happen on its own. Hakkai could settle in and play silent anger for weeks, if not months, or even decades. So Sanzo had taken Hakkai off on the pretext of scouting ahead and had asked Hakkai what was wrong – like he cared. Getting him to ask was probably part of Hakkai’s fucked-up little point. And the fact that he was playing right into it really fucking pissed him off.

Rain, already he thought at the sky and he looked his challenge into Hakkai’s clear, green, angry eyes.

“You really have to ask?” came Hakkai’s prim, infuriating reply.

“I had my reasons for...”

“This isn’t about you, Sanzo,” Hakkai said softly. Sanzo thought he heard the rumble of closing thunder and looked up. They should go into the barn, he thought. But Hakkai wasn’t close to finished. “There were tears, as you might expect,” he explained. “And quite a lot of ranting: abuse, leveled at you, your holy name taken in vain. One could almost suppose that some members of our little group might have some serious abandonment issues. Do you think that might possibly be the case?” Sanzo had no intention of answering that hypothetical, but Hakkai didn’t give him the option. “We’re all playing by your rules, Sanzo, but who do you think has to keep the pieces from flying off the board every time you decide to take your toys and leave the game?”

Toys? It took a moment, but realization dawned and Sanzo felt an unwelcome flicker of guilt at the thought of the sutra and the gold card... oh, fuck. The gold card.

Hakkai gave another humorless laugh. “I briefly considered selling my body in order to feed Goku,” he said. Do you suppose I would have gotten any takers?” Sanzo couldn’t tell if Hakkai was being serious, but felt a slight wave of nausea at the thought of some hairy, drunken stranger pawing at Hakkai’s slender body. “I guess you could call it ‘taking one for the team,’ quite, ah haha, literally.” Sanzo fought to stand his ground as Hakkai leaned in close and lowered his voice to something a few inches above a whisper and ten times as silky. “How would you like to play that role for a while?” Hakkai was still smiling and Sanzo experienced a sensation like twelve tiny spiders with chilly feet tangoing with purpose toward the base of his spine. “You’re supposed to be the leader of this little expedition but when things fall to pieces, you just abandon us.”

“I had my reasons, Hakkai, and you know that.”

“You did. You had excellent reasons and if you’d stopped for five minutes to explain them to us, just maybe we could have helped.”

“I don’t need your help.”

“Overlooking the patent absurdity of that statement in light of how things turned out, have you ever stopped to think that we might have needed your help?”

“That’s not my problem.”

“But we’re going to play a little game where we pretend that it is...” A flash of lightning was followed immediately by a roll of thunder that Sanzo could feel at the base of his skull. “Because I need your help with something right now.” The sky opened and Hakkai’s mouth was on Sanzo’s as he gripped his biceps in tight fists. Blood roared in his ears as Hakkai kissed him with intent, amid the splashing plops of rain.

Drops pounded, fat, warm and heavy onto their heads, running in rivulets over and between their close-pressed faces. Sanzo was a long-time subscriber to the philosophy “if you can’t do something perfectly, then avoid doing it at all costs.” So his own participation in the kiss was minimal. Hakkai was aggressive, but not quite violent. His invading tongue tasted of sweet sake and dusty rain and sent surprising tremors from his suddenly sensitized lips directly to his groin. Sanzo’s realization that this was the first kiss he’d ever experienced, at least while conscious, registered with him dimly for a surprised second before his wits caught up with him and he pulled back, freeing his mouth. His arms remained clenched in Hakkai’s strong grip.

“What the fuck are you doing, Hakkai?” he growled in a tone that would have had both the kappa and the monkey cowering and scurrying out of arms’ reach. Hakkai, the bastard, was undaunted.

“I was planning to fuck you, actually,” Hakkai said conversationally. Sanzo felt his jaw drop. An unfamiliar tremor sprang up at his centre, and emanated outward, like a quick electric shock. Lightning. It must have hit nearby. He tried to study Hakkai’s features. In addition to being obscured by the downpour, Hakkai was, quite deliberately, not looking at Sanzo. In spite of this, Sanzo could see that Hakkai was flushed and he could make out a pulse jumping erratically at his dampened, pale throat.

“What?” He ground out the question, pushing it past the shock and unnamable lightning-feeling that threatened to seal his words.

“I thought it might feel... good. Sort of... better,” Hakkai answered. He now sounded a little uncertain.

“Better than what?” Sanzo was too intrigued to be furious, but he was sure the anger would come.

“Both of us being so angry all the time.” Hakkai looked at Sanzo then, revealing a slightly lost look. His hair was flattened and rain dripped steadily from the planes of his cheekbones and forehead, running over and off of his slightly-parted lips. His tongue slipped out in an unconscious gesture, catching a few droplets, and Sanzo stared, mesmerized. Love your enemies? Not my philosophy... And since when were he and Hakkai enemies?

“You’re insane.” Sanzo decided.

Hakkai gave a flat laugh. “You know, I get that a lot.”

“You can’t think I’m actually going to let you?”

“Oh, yes. I’ve thought about it,” he explained. “You’ll let me.”

“I’ve killed people for trying to touch me, idiot. What makes you think I’d let someone like you...” He found he couldn’t get the words out. He moved instead, trying to extricate himself from Hakkai’s tight grip, wondering why he hadn’t sooner. Hakkai’s hands held fast and Sanzo decided it was time to put an end to all this. He brought a knee up quickly, aiming for Hakkai’s crotch. Hakkai was faster. Releasing Sanzo’s arms and dodging the blow, he hooked a leg behind Sanzo’s stationary one, dropping him to the muddy ground. Sanzo just as quickly whirled his legs straight and around, taking Hakkai’s feet out from under him. He too went down, sprawled flat on his back in the mud. Sanzo regained his own footing as quickly as his sodden robes would allow, and dashed for the barn.

He wasn’t thinking of escape – Hakkai was much faster than he was. But once out of the rain he could regroup and at least stop his brain from whirling. Almost as soon as he stepped over the threshold, Hakkai tackled him from behind. They both went down at once, rolling on the mercifully dry straw. When the struggling stopped, to neither man’s surprise, Hakkai had the advantage. He lay full-length atop Sanzo, pinning his hands firmly above his head. Sanzo struggled to catch his breath, focusing on the hitch in his side in an effort to distract himself from the more pleasant ache that seemed to be forming as a result of Hakkai’s proximity. Hakkai’s goddamned crazy was obviously contagious. Sanzo’s mind reeled.

“You aren’t a rapist,” he said, pleased at the even tone of his voice.

“Good thing, too,” Hakkai laughed. “Or I wouldn’t enjoy this much. You see, I have a theory.” Sanzo waited, glaring up at Hakkai and refusing to ask. “You can’t permit yourself to so much as lay a finger on another person, Sanzo,” he finally said. “Think about it; when was the last time you touched someone? Even when you attack you do it from a distance: with your gun or your sutra or your damned paper fan. And do you know why?”

“I’m not particularly interested in your little theories, Hakkai.”

“It’s because you are terrified. What are you so afraid of, Sanzo? Are you simply frightened that you might actually like it? Could it be that simple? Are you scared to death that your body might do this?” Hakkai ground his hips against Sanzo’s. Sanzo hissed in a breath at the contact – a rough friction against the erection he’d been doing his damnedest to ignore into non-existence.

“I am going to kill you,” he said. The words sounded wrong to his own ears. He’d never threatened Hakkai – not once in the entire three-plus years that he’d known him. He liked Hakkai, goddamnit. He didn’t want to have to stop liking Hakkai. Belatedly, Sanzo realized that he’d probably taken some sting from his threat by thrusting his hips upward into the man on top of him as he spoke.

Sure enough, Hakkai’s lips curved into a thin smile and Sanzo saw real amusement in one glinting green eye. The other eye was covered by his monocle, which cast a reflection of shadowy light. The whole effect was beyond creepy. Just the same, Sanzo didn’t think the shiver that suddenly shook him from head to foot was one born entirely of fear. Him being afraid of Hakkai seemed as ridiculous as fighting with him... more so, even.

“Pervert,” Hakkai murmured, trying to press a kiss onto Sanzo’s mouth and hitting an ear as Sanzo twisted his face away from him.

“Takes one to know one,” Sanzo spat. It wasn’t one of his savvier quips, but he was still trying desperately to keep his body from answering to the small chafing movements Hakkai was making. Hakkai stilled, though, at Sanzo’s words.

“Well, yes, actually. That may be true. And I know you, Sanzo. I know you’ve been watching me closely since the very first day we met. Of course,” he continued. “You had official motivation for that. But even so, it seems that for one reason or another I somewhat intrigue you.”

“Ch. Don’t flatter yourself. Hanging out with that pervert kappa is affecting your mind.”

“I’m not the type to flatter myself, Sanzo.” He pressed Sanzo’s hands down more firmly into the straw and lowered his lips to his. Sanzo again turned his head and, without so much as pausing for a breath, Hakkai continued, speaking low into Sanzo’s ear, each breathy syllable setting off flurries of disturbing sensation. “On the contrary, I’m quite aware of my failings. I have no illusions. I know that anyone attracted to me – anyone who really knows me, and still manages to find me attractive – probably has some very serious issues. Don’t you think it’s time you dealt with some of yours?

Sanzo’s annoyance escalated to a new level when he found himself actually caring that Hakkai was once again demonizing himself – declaring it fact that someone would have to be seriously flawed to even consider him worth bedding.

“Ch, Idiot,” he snarled, but let Hakkai press soft lips to his own. The pressure on Sanzo’s wrists lessened as the kiss grew heated, and Sanzo gave his hands a little jerk to remind Hakkai that he wasn’t here by choice. Hakkai took the hint, tightening his grasp. Sanzo abandoned all efforts at restraining the rest of his body, which bucked and jerked against Hakkai’s. He thought that neither of them was probably displaying much finesse, but the awkward, jerky rubbing was an addictive kind of good. He decided his intellect was actually decreasing proportionally to the rate at which his erection was growing.

He struggled to make his brain work, biting down on Hakkai’s invading tongue. It was no more than a nip, but Hakkai broke the kiss and pulled back far enough to study Sanzo’s face.

“I thought you liked women,” Sanzo gritted through a clenched jaw. He applied every ounce of his remaining control to keeping his body entirely still.

“I do,” answered Hakkai mildly, keeping up the gentle press and release of his erection against Sanzo’s. “But I don’t think I’m ready for that yet. I don’t trust myself... not to be too rough, to not hurt them. You see, I’m still holding on to rather a lot of anger.”

Sanzo raised an eyebrow. “But you don’t think you’ll hurt me?”

“I think you can take it.”

“That’s not exactly comforting.”

“I’m not sure it was meant to be. I’m sorry.” He didn’t look the slightest bit sorry, Sanzo noted. He looked utterly remorseless as he rubbed himself hard into Sanzo and resumed his assault on mouth and hips and the traitorous nerve endings that ran through Sanzo’s body. Hakkai used his legs to spread Sanzo’s, pressing in tighter between them. He alternated deep kisses with soft nibbles and sucks against Sanzo’s neck and ears, rubbing continuously against him until they were both panting and until Sanzo’s erection strained against the buttons of his confining denims.

“Sanzo,” Hakkai groaned, and Sanzo lost a few more IQ points as he swallowed the plaintive moan. “I’m going to suck you off now,” Hakkai whispered the promise - or threat - into Sanzo’s ear. What was left of Sanzo’s mind went numb. He nodded mutely at Hakkai, who didn’t move. Time stretched. Sanzo was definitely no expert in this area, but he knew that Hakkai was going to have to change position at some point if he was going to make good his offer. “Sanzo?” Hakkai whispered.

“Fuck... What?”

“I’m going to have to let go of your hands,” Hakkai explained.

That was a problem. “Shit.” Sanzo thumped his head against the straw in frustration.

Hakkai dragged himself up with another groan, straddling Sanzo and leaning forward to keep his wrists captive. He was flushed and rumpled and radiated an uncontrived sexuality. He also looked somewhat desperate. Sanzo could empathize. “Sanzo, could you maybe just...” He stopped as Sanzo increased the intensity of his glare. Damned if he was giving Hakkai his permission to do this thing.

Hakkai glanced around intently, and Sanzo followed his gaze to a series of hooks fixed into a low wall in the barn, supporting abandoned equipment. Hakkai abruptly released his grip on Sanzo’s wrists and was gone, rolling off of him and moving quickly to the wall. Sanzo considered making a dash for the door, but his brain was still fuzzy and his dick ached and he wasn’t sure another fruitless struggle was what he really needed right then. The thought barely had time to coalesce before Hakkai was back on him, clutching a long coil of rope. He straddled Sanzo’s legs, and, with a look of utter determination and an impressive display of dexterity, managed to get most of Sanzo’s robes off with one hand. His fingers fluttered over the black silk of Sanzo’s undershirt, but ultimately dismissed its removal as unimportant. Instead he began to loop the rough hemp about Sanzo’s wrists. Sanzo watched through slitted eyelids, still surprised at the small, sudden jolts every touch of Hakkai’s deft fingers triggered in him. Once his hands were secured so that, while there was no actual pain, Sanzo couldn’t as much as chafe his wrists one against the other, Hakkai rose again and secured the rope to a metal ring on the opposite wall.

The original purpose of the ring was obviously for securing horses, cattle and other beasts of burden. The analogy jarred Sanzo harshly and, for the first time since entering the barn, his mind openly rebelled at the scene Hakkai was setting. Hakkai stripped off his own tunic and shirt in one easy movement, baring his lean chest and scarred stomach. Sanzo didn’t allow himself time for admiration. Instead, as Hakkai approached again, he kicked out with both legs. The blow connected with Hakkai’s stomach, sending him flying backward. He hit the wall, hard. Sanzo heard a satisfying crack as skull made contact with wood and smiled savagely to himself. He tensed and waited for Hakkai to recover... and continued waiting. He strained to see his friend in the dimming light. Hakkai had drawn his legs up to his chest and appeared to be struggling for breath. Sanzo guessed his blow had knocked the wind out of him quite thoroughly and felt a momentary pang of concern. He just as suddenly dismissed it. Hakkai was tough. A kick to the gut wasn’t going to do much more than slow him down. Still...

“Hakkai?”

“Yes, Sanzo?” Hakkai’s voice was utterly flat, like a vacuum place where emotions went to die. And that meant Hakkai was feeling something strong. Hurt? Anger? Either way, it was, as Hakkai might say, ‘cause for concern.’

“Fuck,” Sanzo really wasn’t sure what else to say under the circumstances.

“I’m not entirely certain I want this anymore.” Hurt, then. What the fuck, Hakkai? If he started crying, Sanzo would fucking kill him.

“Fine, then fucking untie me. I never wanted it. What I do want is a fucking cigarette.” Hakkai rose and moved toward him. Sanzo watched with an unsettling mixture of relief and disappointment. Hakkai’s face was a blank as he reached for the rope around Sanzo’s wrists. Sanzo couldn’t claim that he entirely understood Hakkai – that was one of the things that made him interesting. But right now he could read him like a book: A large-print book. With pop-up illustrations.

“Knew you didn’t have it in you,” he sneered. Hakkai’s hands stilled.

“Oh, did you?” he asked mildly.

Like a man marching to his own doom, he replied: “You’re the one who ‘takes it for the team,’ remember? You said it yourself.”

Hakkai dropped his hands from the rope and, instead, sat down next to Sanzo. Then he smiled. The cold-footed spiders from earlier resumed their march back up Sanzo’s spine. They’d brought friends.

“You know,” Hakkai considered. “That kick of yours was rather painful.”

“Che!” Sanzo snorted. “Welcome to the world of rough sex, asshole.”

“You have a lot of experience with this, then?” Hakkai’s eyes glinted with humor. As he spoke his hands traveled down Sanzo’s chest, trailing over his abdomen and stopping at the waistband of his faded jeans.

“Like I said earlier,” Sanzo snarled even as his body shuddered pleasantly under Hakkai’s hands. “There were no survivors.”

“Then I’ll have to be careful.” Hakkai smirked as he smoothly unfastened each button of Sanzo’s jeans. To Sanzo’s intense embarrassment, his dick was practically fighting to be freed. He could feel it straining toward Hakkai’s hand, the fingers of which were stroking, light as breath, along the strip of skin exposed through the opening of his underclothes. Hakkai shifted, straddling Sanzo’s thighs as he peeled down his denims, fingers stroking as they traveled. A man who did not make the same mistake twice, Hakkai disposed of boots and jeans quickly, using his weight to pin Sanzo’s long and dangerous legs. Sanzo’s struggles only served to shake his erection free of his lightweight boxers. Thus, when Hakkai resumed his position astride his thighs, Sanzo’s full length was exposed to his sight: hard, engorged and dripping. Sanzo shut his eyes tight against his own humiliating exposure and the impossibly smug expression on Hakkai’s flushed face. In spite of himself, he wondered if Hakkai was feeling half of the arousal he was, and hoped desperately that was the case.

Suddenly overcome with emotion, he found himself really wanting to tell Hakkai how much he hated him. However, all that came out when he opened his mouth to speak was a strangled gasp, because Hakkai had taken his dick in his hand and was stroking it with a firm, sure grasp. Sanzo had held his dick in his own hand many, many times and was shocked to find that this was somehow better. A lot better. It made no sense, but there it was. And here he was and he couldn’t possibly be making those sounds. But he was. He was thrusting himself hard into Hakkai’s tight, firm grip and moaning the man’s name like he was dying. And it was exquisite, but they were both going to have to die afterward, because no one could live after hearing him sound like this. And then he realized, with a remote kind of relief, that he wasn’t going to have to do any killing because he was going to die right here just like this, because Hakkai took his wonderful hands away and took Sanzo’s cock in his mouth and there was no way his heart wasn’t going to explode. Wet sucking heat encased him, both soothing and exacerbating the heavy ache in his testicles. He thrust and Hakkai swallowed, taking him in impossibly deep. For the first time in his life, Sanzo thought maybe the celibacy thing had been a mistake.

He ventured a look down his straining body at Hakkai. His eyes were shut, and he was sliding Sanzo’s cock in and out of his mouth, taking his length deeper with each smooth descent. He hands were braced on Sanzo’s hips, his weight supported on his elbows. He was choking slightly from the effort, tears running from his eyes, and Sanzo thought he was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen in his life. His head dropped back and his eyes slid shut. After a few more exquisite moments, Sanzo felt the head of his cock press through a tight resistance and actually slide down Hakkai’s throat. Muscles contracted around him as the other man swallowed hard and repeatedly. Sanzo let out a deep, startled shout. His brain was made of fine crystal and it shattered behind his eyes.

He had no idea how much or little time had passed before he came back to his senses. He opened his eyes and looked into shining green ones. Hakkai looked incredibly pleased with himself, and that would probably be annoying in anyone else, but somehow not so much with Hakkai. Besides, after that performance, he had a right to be a little self-satisfied. Because where the hell did someone like Hakkai learn to do something like that? Books could only...

“You’re fucking the goddamned kappa.” He was shocked at how annoyed the realization made him. The pleased look immediately vacated Hakkai’s face, replaced by a deep uncomfortable flush.

“No, I mean... I have. I’m not.”

“Well, which one?”

Hakkai took a breath and when he spoke again, his tone was even. “It happened once. I would prefer not to talk about it.”

“That good, huh?” Sanzo snorted, trying not to think about the fact that he was still mostly naked and bound and probably not in a position to be overly cruel.

“It was wonderful,” Hakkai answered evenly. “But I’m afraid I’m not Gojyo’s type.”

“No,” Sanzo agreed. “Because you actually give a damn whether he lives or dies.” Hakkai laughed at that, though it wasn’t a happy sound.

“You know, Sanzo, you may actually be on to something there.” But Sanzo didn’t really care. This was his and Hakkai’s argument, or reconciliation, or... Whatever the fuck it was, it was theirs and that goddamned, fucked-up, idiot, pervert water-sprite had no place in it whatsoever.

“Fuck him,” Sanzo said. “And untie me,” he added, because he thought he probably should.

Hakkai laughed again and this time it sounded genuine. “I’m not done with you yet, Sanzo,” he chided. “This is my game, remember? I didn’t actually intend for you to come just then,” he continued. “I got a little carried away. It’s probably going to make the next bit a little more difficult for you.” Sanzo’s eyes narrowed.

“Hakkai...” he said, warningly. But Hakkai didn’t seem warned. He had risen to his feet and was un-selfconsciously stripping off his pants and underwear, revealing an erection so engorged it jutted straight up, defying gravity and pressing flat against his abdomen. “Fuck, Hakkai,” Sanzo could hear the panic in his own voice. “No. You are not putting that monster inside me.” Hakkai looked mildly surprised and glanced down at his rampant penis.

“Monster?” he said lightly. “Kanan liked it...”

Sanzo couldn’t think of anything to say to that that wouldn’t really piss Hakkai off and, he decided, at that point he really didn’t want Hakkai pissed off. He wanted him reasonable - reasonable and very, very sane.

“Don’t worry, Sanzo,” Hakkai smiled. “Please, just trust me?” He dug through the pockets of his discarded slacks and retrieved a small bottle. Sanzo felt a cold sweat break out all over his body and his hands and feet went slightly numb as Hakkai knelt again between his legs.

“Don’t do this,” Sanzo whispered and it sounded like begging. Hakkai didn’t respond to the plea. Instead, he seated himself casually on the ground next to Sanzo.

“I don’t have a lot of experience with this,” he explained. By 'a lot' Sanzo suspected he meant exactly none. Somehow, in the very unbidden images of Hakkai and Gojyo together that rose in his mind, he pictured the kappa in complete control. There was a slight softness that Hakkai exhibited around Gojyo that was very nearly absent in his dealings with himself. He seemed to see Gojyo as maybe slightly fragile. But Sanzo, well... as he’d said himself, he could take it. Could, perhaps, but would was a different story. Sanzo steeled himself to fight, in whatever small way he could, against the expected invasion. If Hakkai had been stunned by his last kick, this one would send him straight through the wall.

In spite of the fact that his brain was on high alert, some residual languor, an after-effect of the best blow-job known to humankind, was still slowing his body. His legs felt as if they were under water as he began to draw them back, preparatory to kicking out. Instead, Hakkai captured them easily between his own and spread his lean, and very naked, form atop Sanzo’s. Apparently aware that kissing at that particular moment would involve serious endangerment of teeth and tongue, Hakkai simply held himself above Sanzo - his face at a safe distance and his lower body pressed close – and let Sanzo squirm. Infuriatingly, Sanzo’s struggles seemed to be feeling pretty good to Hakkai, who bit his lower lip and moaned softly every time Sanzo bucked beneath him. Hakkai’s face was flushed and his eyes half-lidded. The monocle had gone by the wayside, God knew when. Sanzo snarled in frustration and tried to twist himself out of the tight clench of Hakkai’s thighs, and only managed to elicit a groan louder than its predecessors. Hakkai threw his head back and began to move. Sanzo could feel the heat of his erection and the slick moisture it trailed as it slid smoothly against his own skin.

Hakkai was somehow matching his moves to Sanzo’s struggles, as if the whole thing were some kind of mutually agreed-upon dance. It looked and felt to Sanzo like Hakkai must be close... very close if the increased trembling in the body above him was anything to go by. It occurred to him that if Hakkai just came, already, he might be a little more reasonable and a little more physically willing to let this whole farce go as a Bad Idea.

“Hakkai?” he whispered.

“Hmm?” Hakkai’s eyes looked glassy and slightly startled, as if he’d just remembered that Sanzo was there. “I’m sorry, Sanzo,” he said. “Am I hurting you?” It was the same tone of voice he might have used when asking if Sanzo would like some milk in his morning coffee.

“Kiss me,” Sanzo replied. Hakkai looked momentarily surprised but complied, sealing his mouth against Sanzo’s with a harsh groan. Sanzo recognized the flaw in his plan instantly, as an electric jolt shot through him, coalescing into a fiery ache centered in his groin. He whimpered a protest as his dick stirred and filled and, with a noise that he could only describe as joyful, Hakkai acknowledged the response. He pulled away far enough to work a hand between their bodies and caught both of their erections in a long-fingered grip – wrapping them both close and sliding over smooth, hot skin as he continued to pump his hips in small, tight thrusts. The slide of Hakkai’s penis against his own and the clench and release of his clever hands locked in a torturous combination against his long-neglected flesh. And Sanzo felt something else: small currents of almost-electricity emanating from Hakkai’s fingertips, which were surely the product of more than Sanzo’s fevered brain. The bastard was using qi on him, he realized with a shock. Oh, that was more than unfair in so many ways, and yet the possibilities rolled out in front of Sanzo, leaving him utterly abandoned. He pitched forward into the sensations, arcing into Hakkai’s touch and thrusting his tongue eagerly against Hakkai’s own. He was dimly aware of ragged breaths and harsh moans. He heard his name and, so strange, he heard Hakkai’s name, repeated over and over and over, above the chafe and slap of skin and the sucking, wet hot sound of their lips and tongues.

The heat was suddenly too tight, too intense and it was still building. Sanzo reached toward it, panting, bucking and striving for release and very nearly reaching it. But then Hakkai let out a tortured groan and pulled abruptly away, kneeling up between Sanzo’s legs, gasping for breath. Both of their abandoned cocks seemed to Sanzo to be straining to regain the lost contact. Sanzo growled in frustration.

“What’s wrong?” he muttered, in spite of himself.

“Ah haha...” The practiced laugh sounded more than a little shaky to Sanzo’s ears. “I suppose this is taking me a bit by surprise,” Hakkai explained, raking a hand through his damp, dark hair. “I had assumed that this would be a reliable release for us both, but I didn’t expect it to be so...” Hakkai’s already-flushed skin turned a deeper shade of crimson and, in spite of his aching flesh, Sanzo found himself enjoying his usually smug friend’s discomfort.

“Hot?” he offered.

“Oh, dear, Sanzo,” Hakkai laughed weakly. “Now you sound like Gojyo.” That was as good a dash of cold water as any.

“You bring that asshole’s name up one more time and this ends. I mean it.” It was an idle threat, of course, but Sanzo felt better for making it.

“I couldn’t stop now if I wanted to, I’m afraid,” Hakkai replied, sounding apologetic for almost for the first time since this had started. “Frankly,” he said, and caressed Sanzo’s cheek gently as he spoke. “This is turning out to be almost painfully pleasant for me.”

“Hakkai?”

“Yes, Sanzo?”

“Just fucking do this, all right?”

“I have been very angry with you, Sanzo,” Hakkai said gently, stroking smooth fingers slowly up and down Sanzo’s cock, with only the barest pressure, as if reading braille on Sanzo’s body. Every hair on his arms rose at the teasing touch and he felt his dick jump. “But I want you to know that this...” He heard Hakkai draw a shaky breath, felt his feather-light fingers close around him and tighten. “Isn’t about anger. It isn’t about revenge. This is not about power.” He stroked in smooth, tightening movements and brushed his thumb along the tip of Sanzo’s penis, rubbing circles around its smooth head, aided by the slick secretions it was now producing in mortifying abundance. “This is something else, this is thank you, actually, and I promise, it won’t hurt. Well,” There was that goddamned laugh again. Sanzo gritted his teeth. “At least not too much.” He let his limp and boneless legs be parted and lifted, and a slicked finger pressed into him, touching a place that had never been touched. Sanzo tensed and felt his muscles constrict around the gentle invasion. Hakkai increased his pressure on Sanzo’s fiercly hurting cock. “Please do try to relax, Sanzo.” Sanzo thrust his hips up into Hakkai’s grip, focusing, without too much effort, on the part of him that felt good, as Hakkai also increased pressure on the part that felt strange by sliding in another finger.

Unrelenting in his assault upon Sanzo’s swollen cock, Hakkai began to move the fingers inside of Sanzo’s body, curling them, flexing, extending, rubbing. Sanzo’s jerks into Hakkai’s hand became, in part, unsuccessful efforts to evade. His mind seemed to be making the same sort of motions because there was what should feel good and what really shouldn’t and the line was quickly getting smudgy. Then Hakkai had three fingers in his ass and they were suddenly rubbing against a spot that felt like an attack of good - tight, intense, concentrated. He bit down hard on his lower lip, because he knew if he spoke now he would be begging and Genjyo Sanzo had never begged anything of anyone in his entire life. The worst part was that he wasn’t sure if he would be asking Hakkai to stop or to just keep fucking going.

“Oh, Sanzo,” the words were uttered in an almost reverential whisper. “You are so beautiful like this. I wish you could see... Ah!” The last as Sanzo rocked hard, actually pressing back hard into and not away from Hakkai’s invading hand. He half opened his eyes and the thought flashed unbidden into his mind that, aesthetically speaking, Hakkai was the one missing out. He was flushed and shining slightly with the earlier rain or perspiration. His lips were swollen and open, his eyes heavy-lidded. Sanzo could see his hand on his cock and Hakkai’s own penis, dripping in the dim light, and so very, very hard. That’s gotta ache. Sanzo’s efforts to stay silent failed completely at the thought of Hakkai just hurting with wanting. With wanting him.
.
“Fuck. You... Ungh. God. Fuck. Fuck!” There was almost, he thought, some irrational feeling of power in the awareness of the wanting and the need. And that made about as much fucking sense as everything else that had gone on this afternoon – or was it evening? And who the fuck cared? The fingers were suddenly gone from dick and ass and Sanzo made a sound of protest at their cruel absence. Hakkai swallowed that sound, coming down on top of him again and Sanzo knew his returned kisses were desperate, but at least Hakkai’s mouth was keeping him from speaking, from asking him to go back to what he’d been fucking doing... because he was going to explode any goddamned minute now and he wanted to do it with Hakkai in him somehow. As if in mocking answer to that thought, that want, that need, Sanzo suddenly felt something not-fingers, nudging at his slicked entrance. He fought the urge to tighten against what he knew was coming, fully aware that nothing would stop it, that it was as inevitable as every other fucked-up thing that had ever happened to him and, very decidedly, not the worst of them.

“No,” he said anyway. That lovely hand returned to Sanzo’s grateful dick as he felt himself slowly stretched and spread wide. There was pressure – painful pressure, and an impossible stretching, but none of the anticipated burning or tearing. Hakkai had clearly oiled himself to the point of dripping. (Sanzo didn’t know quite when he’d done it but he vaguely wished he’d seen it happening). Hakkai was moving so slowly, so carefully, but his breathing was rapid and the assault of lips and tongue had ceased. Instead he was groaning into Sanzo’s ear like a man in pain. Sanzo found himself grudgingly respecting, if not entirely appreciating, Hakkai’s control. He seriously doubted that, roles reversed, he would have been able to manage it. As if somehow infected by that undisciplined thought, Hakkai surged forward and filled Sanzo entirely. Shocked tears sprang to Sanzo’s eyes and he cried out in pain.

“My God, Sanzo. Oh, Sanzo, I’m so sorry. Oh, oh, oh... yes. Ah. Uhn. So...” Hakkai began to pull out slowly and Sanzo felt as if his insides were being dragged out in his wake. Then suddenly and convulsively, Hakkai thrust himself back into Sanzo’s shuddering body, causing his mind to spin. “So sorry. Please.” Hakkai’s body and brain continued in their apparent refusal to cooperate with each other for many long, torturous seconds, with Sanzo’s body standing as the sounding-board for the pull and retreat of the - rather literally - internal debate. But with the initial shock over, Sanzo was experiencing a return of more pleasurable sensations, and he didn’t particularly want Hakkai’s fucking guilt-overdrive to destroy the experience for either of them. That is, if he was going to enjoy it, which he most certainly – what the hell was that that Hakkai was rubbing against in there anyway?- wasn’t.

“Shut up, Hakkai,” he gritted. “Feels, uh... good. Fucking bastard.” He suddenly wanted to feel the flex and shift of Hakkai’s muscles beneath his hands. “Untie me.” It was a demand – not begging.

“Can’t,” Hakkai panted. He surged forward again, filling and rubbing with even less restraint. His litany of “oh, Sanzos” now sounded like praying and, for the first time ever, Sanzo found himself willing to be worshipped. It was a worship not afraid of taking what it asked for and that, in its own way, took out the sting – the obligation inherent to being adored. And that was the last coherent thought to pass through his brain before he gave it up; he let Hakkai’s body and his thrusts and his closeness become the universe and the feeling where he rubbed up inside him and where their bodies joined become the world. The blinding feelings just went on and on as the roar in his ears increased so that he could barely hear himself as he shouted Hakkai’s name. He felt the sharp heat inside him rush forward and then pause, hovering for a moment on the brink of something he didn’t understand, but wanted. Then he was coming in delirious, toe-curling, gut-churning waves over Hakkai’s tight, torturing fist and, at nearly the same instant, he felt Hakkai pulse once, twice, three times deep inside of him, gasping his name in a way that made “Sanzo” sound like weeping.

Sanzo shut his eyes tightly as Hakkai collapsed on top of him, pressing his face into his neck, still softly bearing his name on every ragged exhalation of breath. He was trembling and Sanzo felt the irrational desire to put his arms around him – comfort him in the way he occasionally, rarely, would have with a much younger Goku, when the small boy had been troubled by nightmares.

“Tch,” he snorted softly at the thought. “Hakkai, you can untie me now,” he said in a tone utterly devoid of threat. Hakkai raised his head and looked at Sanzo searchingly. Sanzo’s returned gaze was candid, with no attempt at a mask. Hakkai clearly found what he was looking for in that answering look; he slowly withdrew himself from Sanzo’s aching and thoroughly satisfied body, and moved to comply with the request. He did it quickly and then returned to Sanzo’s side, stretching out next to him. Sanzo rubbed at his wrists for a few moments and then rose up on one arm, pushing Hakkai roughly down into the straw. He tried to look threatening but was far too relaxed to pull it off properly. “You suck,” he said instead and, winding a hand in Hakkai’s dark hair, pressed a savage kiss onto his already-bruised lips.

“Literally?” Hakkai quipped when Sanzo pulled away.

“Idiot,” Sanzo answered with affection, but he evaded Hakkai’s next attempt at a kiss, nonetheless.

Hakkai gave Sanzo a resigned smile and released him, moving toward his discarded clothing. He handed Sanzo his jeans and robes before he began dressing himself and Sanzo accepted them with a nod. It was dark outside. The rain had stopped.

Once dressed, Sanzo lit a cigarette and stared levelly at Hakkai, who had fastened his pants and was dusting straw from his clothing. “I’ve decided not to kill you,” he informed him.

“Thank you,” Hakkai replied. “However, I knew you wouldn’t. I don’t have a death wish anymore, remember?”

Sanzo raised his eyebrows in a silent demand for explanation.

“You could have stopped me at any time,” Hakkai shrugged.

“That’s interesting,” Sanzo exhaled slowly, thinking that a cigarette had never been quite this satisfying before. “I asked you to stop. I told you to stop. I kicked the shit out of you. Was there a safe word you gave me that I maybe missed?” Hakkai shoved his hands into his pockets and Sanzo could see him smiling into the darkness.

“You always have a safe word, Sanzo... actually, you have two of them.”

“What the hell are you...”

“Don’t forget this, will you?” Hakkai said, unpocketing one hand to retrieve Sanzo’s sutra from where it had fallen in the straw. “I think it just might be important.” He tossed it to Sanzo, who just stared at him as he walked off, whistling softly, into the night.


End: Thanks for Reading!

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